island bay

1. any bay with an island in it
2. a particular bay on wellington's south coast with an island in it
2a. it is a well-known fact that almost nobody knows that this island is called Tapu Te Ranga
3. behind this bay is a suburb, marine laboratory and various other commerical ventures as are needed to make sure people do not starve.
4. you better not be waiting for anything more interesting. there isn't all that much interesting about Island Bay

apartment

1. similar to the cage one might carry a cat to cattery in, except that it is human-sized and immobile (possible exception being apartments in oriental bay, though this is not on purpose)
2. a filing cabinet in which to keep people
3. a popular wellington accessory that has turned te aro into a neighbourhood.
3a. although, people who live in town then get all surprised and shitty that it's noisy, which is a bit surprising to me.

vivian street

1. street in te aro, running east-west. forms a large natural half-pipe with pirie street to the top of mt victoria.
2. where the hookers at.
3. and the VUW school of architecture. that's a pretty important thing to mention.

majestic centre, the

1. the tallest building in wellington, a tribute to architectural styles of the 1980s.
2. an object so phallic that a committee is determing whether or not to replace the word 'phallic" with "majestic" and refer penii back to it instead, although this might be redundant,given the number of people who already refer to their penis as majestic
3. a source of terrible confusion and aesthetic bewilderment for stoned people
3a. a problem, because roughly thirty-five percent of wellington's adult citizenry is stoned at any given time.
3b. because it looks like a dalek.

courtenay place

1. street in eastern te aro, site of roughly nine thousand bars, claimed by wikipedia as "world famous" for its nightlife.
2. place that can be traced back as the genesis of many accidental impregnations
3. site of the reading cinema complex, the most charmless building in the city

wadestown

1. mansion-clad rich suburb in the western hills
2. site of future wall for many of its citizens to be first against when the revolution comes.

lambton quay

1. street containing a large section of the city's office workforce
2. c-shaped street with the railway station and parliament at the top end
3. the wellington street that appears the new zealand version of monopoly. second in value only to queen street, auckland.

te papa

1. museum on the east side of the waterfront that looks from the street like a ship plowing into a stetson
2. on the inside, a tribute to all things new zealand. brilliant place.
2a. has rides too. good ones.

cuba mall

1. pedestrian mall running north-south through Te Aro. The bits you can drive on are called "Cuba Street"
2. retail and bar heavy place, pleasant enough
2a. not for the faint of cash
2b. heavily gentrified place to go people-spotting
2c. good place to sit outside and drink beer
3. location of the bucket fountain, already well known as the best piece of public art in the world.

wellington inner city bypass

1. largely unwanted road that pulls the motorway further south in a bid to speed up driving times
1a. "largely unwanted" is sugar coating it.
1b. has not sped up your journey if you're going to Brooklyn
2. pain the ring for inner city pedestrians

wellington waterfront

1. wellington's schlong. the bald man's ferrari. king trinket.
1a. the bit beside the harbour with a lot of sculpture, te papa and a park.
1a1. you can rent a kayak or go rock climbing if you like.
1b. a ferrari is a nice thing. likewise, the waterfront is wonderful on a sunny day.

basin reserve, the

1. cricket venue largely superceded by Westpac Stadium. Used as a boundary marker for where the central city stops.
2. a large, grassy and genteel place now used for unprofitable cricket games and the odd public event. also contains the New Zealand cricket museum.
3. the world's largest traffic island.

te aro

1. Self-fellating southern section of the central city, specifically the south end. Its children are Mount Victoria, Brooklyn, Aro Valley, Mt Cook and sometimes Y. Loves itself a lot.
1a: main streets: Cuba St, Manners St, Willis St, Courtenay Pl.
2. More retail than the Lambton end of town. Less pompous.
3. Wellington's entertainment district. Always something to look at.
4. So pretentious that it makes Paris Hilton look like a hillbilly. An apartment boom in the last ten years has gentrified it, quite a bit.
4a. label-basing as an art form.
5. Home of the bucket fountain, the best public art in the world.
6. The least judgmental place on Earth.